To Be Discovered

I have always thought that I am the one who doesn't have the courage to tell you everything that I think and feel, despite the fact that I secretly wanted you to know it all. Only yesterday did I finally know that you have been doing the same. I have kept many unposted entries, and you have set up another home. Ironically, all this time, we have both been wishing that all these hidden secrets would somehow be discovered.

I cannot help wondering why we have both done this. Why couldn't we both have been more honest, more open with each other? Is it because we still do not completely trust each other? Or is it just that some things are just too difficult to say?

It was quite shocking to find and read all the things you wrote. I read it again, and again, and again. Some things made me feel guilty, some things touched my heart, but everything made me cry. I cried because I hurt you. I cried because you loved me so much. I cried because I've pushed you away, and you no longer feel for me.

I've done it again. After closing the other place, I've created a new home without telling you. But, yes, as before, I am waiting, and hoping that you would eventually find this.