Cry IV

Today I cried......for the fourth day in a row.

The first destination of today was Hart House. I never set foot in there, except for those few times with you. I really never have a reason to be there. And now, I really don't want to set foot in there at all. All those places where we talked, where we had coffee, where we just sat around and did nothing at all. I can remember it all too well.

A few months ago I walked past that same building at night, in the cold. For whatever reason, the lights were on and the bells were playing music. It was a really nice feeling just passing by the place. But deep inside, I couldn't help feeling sad, because I wished that you were there with me.

You all say that what you do is for my benefit, for my well-being. How can that be true when you are all taking away the things I want? How can that be true when I must give up all the things that are important to me? How can that be true when I find myself crying more and more?

How can that be when I can no longer find a reason to be alive?

='(