As the family across the street happily packs up their van and heads out for the long weekend, I was here dreading the fact that we, too, will be heading out tomorrow morning.
I love trips. I love traveling. But not when certain things still fill up my mind.
I don't want to go to a place that we talked about. I don't want to do something that we never had the chance to do together. I don't want to have to pretend I'm fine when it's killing me inside.
Can I just be alone?
Friday, June 29, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
626
June 26 has developed a significance to me in the last few years......
Three years ago today, I saw hocc perform for the first time. The performance probably lasted less than 20 minutes, but I was mesmerized.
More importantly......I believe......that three years ago, on this day, our path crossed for the first time, without us knowing.
Three years ago today, I saw hocc perform for the first time. The performance probably lasted less than 20 minutes, but I was mesmerized.
More importantly......I believe......that three years ago, on this day, our path crossed for the first time, without us knowing.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Joke vs. Miracle?
Less than 24 hours after the wedding, someone in the family has left.
Is this a joke? Why must the joy and celebrations end like this?
Is this a miracle? After seeing the family and the celebrations, she can finally go in peace.
RIP...
{pray}
Is this a joke? Why must the joy and celebrations end like this?
Is this a miracle? After seeing the family and the celebrations, she can finally go in peace.
RIP...
{pray}
Saturday, June 23, 2007
White
So...that kid that stayed at our house in the summer 14 years ago and taught me to rollerblade just got married today!
Congratulations Henry and Becky!
This is perhaps the fourth time I've been to a wedding. The first time, I was too small and cannot remember anything. The second was my aunt's wedding. All I can remember is feeling awkward in a dress and being completely exhausted from holding the heavy bouquet of flowers. The third one was about two years ago, and there was nothing quite memorable to me. Today, a million things went through my mind.
I remember the words that someone had said to me after attending a wedding last year. The words hurt, partly because of the unfortunate truth of those words, but more so because that this person thought this.
People often talk about giving their partner some sort of recognition through marriage. But does a ceremony and a piece of paper confirm your relationship? The most important thing is what comes from within, and that is something that only the people involved can confirm with one another.
What is the purpose of marriage? What does it mean to love someone? How do you love someone? How do you prove that you love someone? What gives us the right to love someone? How do we decide who we can or cannot love? Can it ever be wrong to love?
Congratulations Henry and Becky!
This is perhaps the fourth time I've been to a wedding. The first time, I was too small and cannot remember anything. The second was my aunt's wedding. All I can remember is feeling awkward in a dress and being completely exhausted from holding the heavy bouquet of flowers. The third one was about two years ago, and there was nothing quite memorable to me. Today, a million things went through my mind.
I remember the words that someone had said to me after attending a wedding last year. The words hurt, partly because of the unfortunate truth of those words, but more so because that this person thought this.
People often talk about giving their partner some sort of recognition through marriage. But does a ceremony and a piece of paper confirm your relationship? The most important thing is what comes from within, and that is something that only the people involved can confirm with one another.
What is the purpose of marriage? What does it mean to love someone? How do you love someone? How do you prove that you love someone? What gives us the right to love someone? How do we decide who we can or cannot love? Can it ever be wrong to love?
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Secrets of the Heart
June 20, 2007 horoscope on astrology.com:
"Love is deeply private and very passionate today, with the current planetary configuration. Even if everyone knows of your relationship with a certain person, they certainly do not realize how deeply in love you actually are, and perhaps you do not either until an event that occurs today makes you realize exactly what is going on. You may choose to keep this a secret a while longer."
Can you mess with my head any more than this?!?!
"Love is deeply private and very passionate today, with the current planetary configuration. Even if everyone knows of your relationship with a certain person, they certainly do not realize how deeply in love you actually are, and perhaps you do not either until an event that occurs today makes you realize exactly what is going on. You may choose to keep this a secret a while longer."
Can you mess with my head any more than this?!?!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Revelations
Because of your influence, it seems I've somehow developed the habit of reading horoscopes every now and then. Of course, after a while, you realize nothing they predict ever actually happens. Despite that, you still hope that all those good things will still come true.
In this week's weekly horoscope, the last sentence reads, "Saturday, a friend comes back into your life."
If there's anything I want to hear from a horoscope reading, it has got to be this. Unfortunately, judging from the plans for Saturday, this prediction seems highly unlikely. How about Sunday?
*sigh*
If I can have one accurate prediction, please make it this one......
In this week's weekly horoscope, the last sentence reads, "Saturday, a friend comes back into your life."
If there's anything I want to hear from a horoscope reading, it has got to be this. Unfortunately, judging from the plans for Saturday, this prediction seems highly unlikely. How about Sunday?
*sigh*
If I can have one accurate prediction, please make it this one......
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
Ink
Not knowing what to do with myself last night, I came across Miami Ink. Having seen numerous commercials, I had always that it was a stupid show. But I take that back.
Why would anyone want to watch a series that repeatedly shows tattoo artists giving people tattoos?! It turns out the show has much more than that. I was impressed by the creativity of the tattoo artists and also touched by the stories of their clients. A lot of people want tattoos because it looks cool, but many more people get tattoos because of an experience, a place, a pet, a person, etc.
If it is something that important to you that you would be willing to get a permanent tattoo of it, I doubt you would need the tattoo to remind you of it. Perhaps it is an form of expression, something you want to tell the world. But more than anything, it serves as a way to keep a piece of something with you, forever, and there is no way to keep something closer than on your own body.
I never really said anything when you told me you had the urge to get a tattoo. Perhaps that might have disappointed you, but did you know that I was smiling inside? You always mentioned getting matching accessories, and of course, naturally, I was thinking matching tattoos. People always say that tattoos of names or matching tattoos are stupid, because tattoos last longer than relationships. Looking at my own life, that seems to be very much true. Ideally, I want to have a matching tattoo, but the chances of that being possible (forget happening) are probably less than zero.
But I still want a tattoo.....one that only I would know the significance and meaning of......one that would allow me to keep a piece of you.....
Why would anyone want to watch a series that repeatedly shows tattoo artists giving people tattoos?! It turns out the show has much more than that. I was impressed by the creativity of the tattoo artists and also touched by the stories of their clients. A lot of people want tattoos because it looks cool, but many more people get tattoos because of an experience, a place, a pet, a person, etc.
If it is something that important to you that you would be willing to get a permanent tattoo of it, I doubt you would need the tattoo to remind you of it. Perhaps it is an form of expression, something you want to tell the world. But more than anything, it serves as a way to keep a piece of something with you, forever, and there is no way to keep something closer than on your own body.
I never really said anything when you told me you had the urge to get a tattoo. Perhaps that might have disappointed you, but did you know that I was smiling inside? You always mentioned getting matching accessories, and of course, naturally, I was thinking matching tattoos. People always say that tattoos of names or matching tattoos are stupid, because tattoos last longer than relationships. Looking at my own life, that seems to be very much true. Ideally, I want to have a matching tattoo, but the chances of that being possible (forget happening) are probably less than zero.
But I still want a tattoo.....one that only I would know the significance and meaning of......one that would allow me to keep a piece of you.....
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Waking Up to Nothing
Why do I want to wake up? I don't have an answer. Do I even want to wake up? A part of me says no.
Two years ago, I think I would have said that I wake up for my family, for a very special friend, and for the possibility of success. But now, it seems I have lost all these things.
So what is there to wake up to?
Thursday, June 7, 2007
又是我的錯﹖
我選擇令自己開心的﹐錯嗎﹖
我不想令你難過﹐錯嗎﹖
我為奇他人著想﹐錯嗎﹖
我擔心你﹐錯嗎﹖
為什麼我做每一件事﹐你都不滿意﹐都認為是多餘的﹖我也想把一切做好一點。我真的有努力過。但我真的很累﹐心裡很痛﹐你又會知道嗎﹖
我不想令你難過﹐錯嗎﹖
我為奇他人著想﹐錯嗎﹖
我擔心你﹐錯嗎﹖
為什麼我做每一件事﹐你都不滿意﹐都認為是多餘的﹖我也想把一切做好一點。我真的有努力過。但我真的很累﹐心裡很痛﹐你又會知道嗎﹖
Friday, June 1, 2007
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