Empty Tank

Finally...tonight there is no real immediate rush to do anything.

Since early last week, it's been nonstop studying...to the point that my head is no longer functional. Tuesday night was the act sci test. Wednesday morning was the systems pharm test.

Act Sci was, for the most part, fairly easy. But I still messed up in the stupidest way. After days and days of doing problem sets without any problems, I somehow managed to install into my head a wrong formula. The test was easy enough that I stood a good chance of getting 100%. But being the idiot that I am, I will be getting significantly less than that. F**k.

Systems Pharmacology. After writing a 90 mark test in 50 minutes, everyone was either speechless or depressed. What drug can irreversibly block acetylcholine receptors? What anti-microbial drug can be used to treat TB and is a CYP450 inducer? I don't know. I haven't put so much time and effort into studying in a while, but for this test I was literally studying every minute I had...on campus, on the subway, at work, etc. And still, it was another disaster.

This is exactly why I am sick of school, sick of trying, sick of fighting. No matter what it is, and how hard I try, I can never win.

After the entire week of endless nights, I actually got to sleep yesterday. I haven't slept so much in day for a long time...5 hours in the afternoon, and another 5 hours at night...yet I still feel dead tired all of today.

I've worn myself out in every way possible. Why is it that my mind is still running off on me?