哭了

這兩天...終於忍不住...哭了。

I'm not sure why I cried. Perhaps I dread going back to school again. Perhaps it is the sadness that has come over me from not being able to do all those things that I wanted to do. Perhaps it is the realization (for the nth time) of where I stand.

為什麼生活總是那麼矛盾﹖

I do not want to go back to school tomorrow. If there's anything that I'm really tired of in life, it would be school. But at the same time, I dread the fact that it will all be over in a few months. Then what? The whole world is watching me, and I don't know what to do.

The thing that played on my emotions the most this holiday was the same thing that bugged me last year. All I wanted was to spend the holidays with a special person. Is that too much to ask for? I tried. Perhaps it wasn't enough. Perhaps I am undeserving. *sigh*...Did my little friend even reach his destination?

I love someone. I love my family. Where is the conflict in this?

無奈...