Monday, April 21, 2008

18...19...20...21..................22.

Last night I told myself I wouldn't cry, and until I finally wore myself out enough to sleep at 3am, I was okay. But when I finally did lie down...I don't know why......

This morning I woke up and for about five minutes I could forget what day it was. But only five minutes......

For the entire day, every hour or so, I received e-mails and messages and what not. I am grateful for all the people who took the time to drop me a line. But none of them was the person I want to hear from most.

Every year, RY would plan to have dinner with me either the weekend before or after. For the past few years, I went, for the sake of seeing her and whoever else happens to go, but this year I turned down the offer using tomorrow's BCH445 exam as an excuse. I am grateful to have RY in my life, and for almost 15 years too. But she, too, is not the person I want to see today.

18...19...20...21..................22.

It's been nonstop downhill...and there's still more to come.

And it will always be a one-man war...

Where were you today? What were you doing? Have you forgotten? Did I ever cross your mind today?

Or it just doesn't matter to you anymore?

='(

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