Then and Now (IV)

Two years ago, I could still call you and hear your voice.
Two years ago, I could leave and know that you'd still be there when I got back.
Two years ago, I could firmly tell myself that some things will not change.

Today, I cannot hear your voice.
Today, I don't know where you are.
Today, I don't know what to think or feel.

It's been ages since we talked, but you're still the one I miss most.

Are you still there...?

[......]

重

心...
很亂......
很痛......

=(

Games

Incorrect insurance claim: Paramedical services

Destination of the day: Corporate Drive

This is not funny...

The Truth of the Truth

What right do you have to tell me to stop lying to myself, when you are the one that wants me to do something that I don't believe???

I know what I want. I know what I feel. You are the one trying to make me believe otherwise.

I don't want to lie to myself.

That is precisely why there is a problem between me and you.

Heros of the Night

Ming Pao's Saturday Magazine had an article about EMS. I told myself I would not read it, but did...

The article mentioned a lot of things, and a million things rushed into my mind. The medic’s stories and frustrations sounded all too familiar...

I'm sorry...

Can I hold you in my arms again?...

Please?...

='(

Then and Now (III)

While cleaning out the clutter in my room, I came across school pictures from both elementary school and high school.

Someone looked at my elementary school picture and commented that I smiled from the inside. Perhaps so.

Not too long ago someone looked at one of my childhood pictures and said I looked genuinely happy. Then, this person asked me where that happy child went...

I don't know. But that child will never be found again.

Don't tell me to smile. I don't know how to fake a smile for you.

Then and Now (II)

The big event of last week was K's high school graduation ceremony. Four years later, BA still holds its grad at the same place on the same Thursday night.

I feel old. All those little kids that used to come to our house to play and have sleepovers have all become adults. It seems that they have all grown, but I am still stuck somewhere in time...

Being at that same place, my mind thought back to my own high school grad, and how different the feeling was compared to last week's university convocation...

20040624:
This evening was exciting. All 600+ of the class of 2004. Among them, many I had known for almost, if not more than, 10 years. The atmosphere was good. And for once, I could almost feel proud of myself, because the very last and most prestigious award of the night was presented to me. MM went around telling people she knows me. People congratulated my parents. For once, I accomplished something.

20080617:
Four years later, at this supposedly much more important university convocation, I felt nothing. I did not want to be there, and nobody else was excited about anything either. When I saw KL after the ceremony, she said to me, "You lied to me! You said you weren't good with academics, but you got high distinction!" I laughed, and thought, 'But it doesn't mean anything to anyone.' And that's the truth. Nobody knows what it means, and it's not enough to warrant anything.

I wish a certain someone could have been there at convo. And as impossible as it is, I wish that this same person could have been there four years ago.

I wish...