This Path

I'm not sure if what I'm doing is right.
I'm not sure if what I'm doing is wrong.

I'm not sure if I am moving closer.
I'm not sure if something is moving further.

I'm not sure what I will have.
I'm not sure what I will lose.

I'm not sure if there is a chance.
I'm not sure if I've already lost.

I'm not sure if you hate me for all that's happened.
I'm not sure if you hate me for not pushing forward.

But please...
Trust me.

23

I've learned it's best not to wish.
I've learned it's best not to hope.

I've learned it's best to just try and forget.

But in the end, you still end up remembering, and hoping, and wishing.

A little more disappointment.
A little less faith.

The fourth time...and it still feels the same.

Exclusion

It hurts to know that I am being excluded from the life of someone I love.

It means so much to me, but you've taken away my privileges.

I mean no harm...

I just want to love you.

Getting Physical

Perhaps you were right.
I could never understand what you felt.
But now I do.

Connections......

Your charm...
Your kindness...
Your intelligence...

Your touch.

When did it start to get physical?

I want to hold you.
I want to touch you.
I want to feel you here with me.

How do I fix this hole?

Wrongs make a right.

It was all 'wrong' from the beginning...

It's not like me to reply to such random e-mails.
It's not like me to go beyond the surface with a stranger.
It's not like me to 'hug' someone, even if only in virtual reality.

Yet, for whatever reason, that was what I did that night.

And everything turned out to feel so right.

Stupidity?
Chance?
Fate?

I don't care.

I just want you back here with me, because nothing ever felt so right.

Please?