Karma

Lots of mixed feelings today...

A few summers ago I left for vacation in HK while X was job hunting. In an e-mail, she told me that she got the job the day after I left. I was happy for her. But what hurt was that she said she wished she could have told me directly and that I could have celebrated with her. *sigh* I felt so ashamed of myself. It seemed like I was never there with her in the good times or bad.

It's always these "small things" that kill me...

Three years later...

Today I got a job offer for the first co-op term of my masters program. Although this is co-op, it still is my first full-time position. The moment I saw the e-mail, I wished I could call X up and tell her the good news. Like X, I wished that we could have celebrated together. But, of course, that wasn't possible.

*sigh*

I've been sitting here all night and it's just so tempting to call her up or send her an e-mail. I know there won't be a reply, but a part of me believes that she will still read my message.

If only you where here...