Every now and then I tell myself what an idiot I am and set out to forget and let go of certain things. But somehow, every time I say this to myself, something comes along and messes with my head (and heart).
A while ago, I discovered, completely by accident, that X's phone numbers were written in the phone book that sits by phone in the kitchen. This was quite a shock, considering I have, over the years (yes, years), tried to get rid of all of X's contact info that is 'out there'. Somehow, I never looked in this phone book and never expected to find anything in it. So what did I do? I left it there, because it would be too obvious if a particular page was ripped out. So I figured it's better if I just continue pretending that I don't know.
Today, while M was looking for a phone number, she went into the kitchen and picked up this phone book. From the other room, I could hear paper ripping. When M asked me to help her find the phone number she was looking for, I noticed that the page that X's number was on was gone. I made a slight effort to look for that missing page, but still haven't found it. So what happened to that page? And why did M do that at this point in time?
Considering what has happened in the past, I know I need to find that page. It's been almost four years now, and I am still horribly stuck in this f**ked up situation of mine.
And so....this little incident has wrecked havoc in my head tonight.
I don't want to argue with anyone about this anymore.
And I don't want to make myself cry.
Sweet~ be strong, don't cry~
ReplyDeleteAlthough if i were you, I probably used up my memory to memorized the phone number. Yet, since things already happened, and there may be something going wrong, then let it be. 以軟制硬is what you can do for now~~ :)