At the end of a phone conversation yesterday, I told my friend, M, that I had to call my sister to help her figure out her school stuff....
M (jokingly) said she didn't like that, because she was jealous. Jealous because I'm always helping my sis and not helping her. I laughed it off, but in reality my mind was already way off somewhere else. There was a time when someone very seriously said she was jealous of my sister. It seemed kind of funny, but I knew what she meant by those words. Whether or not I redeemed myself afterward is another story.
M also said there seems to be a lot of people bothering and bugging me. I said no, but she said yes. She added that I like to be bothered, and that's one of the good things about me. WTF?! No. I don't particularly like being bothered. For the most part, I'm pretty patient when I deal with people. If I really do feel that you're bugging me, then you've REALLY gotten on my nerves and I will shut you out completely using whatever way. I think what M meant was that I'm willing to listen and help. (Because I'm usually the one that listens to her rants about the most random things.)
But to be honest.......it gets tiring.....
Whether it's some random person's transportation problems, or K's tuition problems or my folk's tech problems.......it's always me. Somehow, I end up spending a good deal of time doing stuff that really is none of my business, despite the fact that I can barely find enough time to deal with all my own sh*t.
Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for all the people around me, and I really am willing to help if I can. But it's tiring.
The worst part is....sometimes you put your heart and soul into helping someone.....and in the end, you realize that everything you've done in the past means absolutely nothing to them....and get back-stabbed.
I'm not asking for anything in return, but the least you could give me is some respect.
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