I don't know if it was the conversations at work today, or the conversations at dinner tonight, or just the fact that it's coming to the end of March again, but a lot of things are going through my mind again.
E, M and T were all talking about moving and stuff today. Both E and T recently bought condos in the area near work. Somewhere in this conversation, S asked me if I planned to move out after graduating. Such a simple question, but for some reason I didn't have an answer. When you're in my position, this question is really a lot more complicated. Yes, I want to move out, because that's the only way to really live the way I want to. I guess compared to a lot of people around me I do have a lot of freedom right now. But honestly, sometimes I get really tired of all the additional responsibilities there are for living at home that refrain me from doing other things I'd rather be doing. But me moving out implies a lot of things which can create a lot of problems and situations. I don't know if I can (physically, mentally and emotionally) handle going through it all again.
At dinner, I found out that someone is getting married this summer. Congrats! But that means I have to go to a wedding, which is always a pain when I need to decide what to wear. !@#$% And of course, the talk of another wedding brings up all the dating and relationship questions around the table. For the Nth time, no I'm not dating anyone. Now f**k off. I really don't need to deal with all this, especially not at this time of the year when I'm already driving myself crazy.
It's past 12am.....
It's March 21......
3...21....
This date and everything about it just keeps floating in my head.....
I never want to go through it again.....
If only I really could be as unfeeling as some people perceive me to be. That would make my life a lot easier.
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