Clash of the Worlds

Things that happened yesterday made me think of this video clip. Alice Wu talks about Saving Face, mentioning how in the movie Wil has compartmentalized her life.



The first time I saw this clip, I thought...that's exactly what I've done with my life...compartmentalized.

Family..
High school friends.
Undergrad friends.
Current classmates/friends.
Volunteer friends.
'Other' friends.
Work.

And even within those groups, there are further divisions.

Except for a few odd friends that have met my family, I have never let these different groups of people mix. Why? I don't know. That's the way it's always been. And I guess between some groups, there is potential for conflict.

Yesterday, two of these groups clashed. While hanging out with R (classmate), I ran into V and W (other).

I really wonder what R thinks. Seeing that my other friends are even more boyish than me must raise some questions in her head. It's pretty obvious. Why would me and my friends be dressed in a boyish way?! (Although that is a stereotype) I'm sure she's already made some conclusions about me. But regardless of what R thinks, I trust that she won't say anything to anyone else.

(Thankfully M decided not to come. If she did, she would ask me a million things AND go spread it out to the world. And ironically, she is now sharing an apartment with someone who she thinks is les.)

On the other hand, I still feel bad for not inviting V and W to dinner with me and R. I guess I've neglected them for the sake of 'protecting' myself. To me, it seems like I've just discriminated against them, when in fact, I am the same as them. Totally doesn't make sense.

But the thing is...

I've had different parts of my life clash before. And it wasn't pretty.

Different groups of people know me in different ways. Some know more than others. Some see sides of me that others don't. Am I being fake? Maybe some people would say that. But at this point in time, I don't know how else to make it work.

I'm already playing with fire. Don't want to make things more complicated than it already is.