The pressure. The fear. The heaviness. The pain.
I can feel that tightness inside again. Really. I know what that chest pain feeling is like..
As much as I can pretend everything is okay on a day-to-day basis, there comes a point when I realize that deep down inside I've never let go of any of this.
Every time I headed for HK, I think about what happened that year, and then a part of me is tempted to dial that HK phone number that she gave me. But in the end, I've never had the courage to do so. I always told her that I don't mind she tell her friends about us, because I know that who she finds trustworthy will definitely be a respectable person. But if I called that number, who would I meet and what would that person know or think about me? Whoever that person is, to her, I'm most likely nothing more than a "kid" who's caused a lot of trouble.
In the end, the problem is still there, and always will be.
And I still miss her.
Every time I headed for HK, I think about what happened that year, and then a part of me is tempted to dial that HK phone number that she gave me. But in the end, I've never had the courage to do so. I always told her that I don't mind she tell her friends about us, because I know that who she finds trustworthy will definitely be a respectable person. But if I called that number, who would I meet and what would that person know or think about me? Whoever that person is, to her, I'm most likely nothing more than a "kid" who's caused a lot of trouble.
In the end, the problem is still there, and always will be.
And I still miss her.
