2010 Recap

I sat here and thought about 2010 for a while, and I really don't have anything interesting to say about it.

January to April was my first real full-time position, even though it was just for co-op. I was a little skeptical about working there at first, because I still prefer a more Asian environment. (No, I'm not racist. It's just more comfortable in some ways.) This work environment requires me to be a little more social than I would like to be, so sometimes it's a bit tiring. Except for that, I think I did pretty good for my first work term. At least, I impressed them enough that I got work directly from the partners sometimes and they indicated that they think I have a lot of potential with the firm. Tentatively, I've already secured a full time position for after graduation. I guess this is the one big thing that takes a lot of weight off my shoulder. But, of course, I still have to make it through all the exams.

May to July was the third school term in the program, and my worst. I guess I didn't work hard enough. I guess I thought too highly of myself. In the end, everything turned out okay, but I would have liked to do better. After all, there is some cash at stake for getting good grades i this program. The only highlight was that my group got second place in the case competition.

August was spent in HK. Except for one particular incident, I guess the trip was good. I enjoyed seeing family and friends. To some extent, I walked away with some thoughts about certain things. There is something that I hope to do, but it's not going to be easy.

September to December was just another school term. To some extent, it was an easier term, since there was only six courses. I'm fairly confident that I aced one of the courses. But I'm not so sure I even passed another. The highlight is that my team has a chance of winning another competition. But that's still up in the air.

After December exams came two weeks of intense studying. I never felt so stressed out about an exam in a long long time. I never felt so nervous about an exam. At some point in those two weeks, I really just wanted to say 'f**k it' and forget it all. But I guess with the support of all my buddies, it's all done now. Hopefully, all that will pay off.

The things I want to do, I still haven't done. The problems that existed before still exist. I guess nothing is getting worse (except maybe my sanity?), and nothing has really changed or improved. Sometimes, I really don't know what the point is. Just going through life, day by day, with nothing interesting and nothing to look forward to. Perhaps I am taking steps towards a potentially successful career now, but everything is meaningless if there's nobody to share it with.

I'm tired. I don't know how much longer I can last.

When can I really rest?