Place of My Own

While out at a client's the other day, we were chatting with some people over lunch, and an interesting discussion started up.

The office assistant, C, was telling us how she was going to move in with her bf soon.  Somewhere along the way, her boss, J, joked that her dad isn't going to like that.  C agreed, because from a cultural perspective, she knew her parents wouldn't like it.  But C said her parents didn't know, yet.  Her plan was to have everything all ready and settled before telling her parents.  That way, they have no choice but to accept it.

My project leader went on to say how he had moved in with his gf almost immediately after graduating from university.  In his case, his parents were perfectly fine with that, and to them, it was a perfectly normal thing to do at that age.

My other colleague also talked about how she just bought a place with her bf last year.  Like C, her parents were really against the decision also.  Like C, she bought the house with her bf before telling her parents about anything.  In the end, her parents didn't speak to her for about three months, but they have finally accepted it now.

The idea of moving out has come across my mind a lot in the last few years, but even now I still don't know how I'd be able to do that.  If everything goes along smoothly, I should be able to afford it financially in the next year or two.  But the bigger problems come from my family.

My decision to move out would imply a lot of things that aren't necessarily (but may be) true.  They would never agree.  For sure, they would think I want to move out because I'm hiding a gf somewhere.  That's ture in the sense that moving out will allow me to do so, but that's not the only reason.  The only valid excuse would be if I found a really good job in some other city.  But, in a sense, that would also defeat the purpose for me.  Perhaps, the way to go is what all these other people have done.  Do it first.  Share the news later, when it's too late for anyone to oppose.

Perhaps, like all these people, I could have forced everyone else to accept my decision.

Sometimes I really wonder how things could have been.  What if I really had left the house and moved in with X back then?  They wanted me to leave, and she was perfectly willing to take me in.  So why not?  Because I didn't have the guts to do it.  Because I worried that things would never be resolved.  Because I didn't want to be a burden to X.

How am I ever going to make things work?

(I once gave another blog post this same title.  The only thing in the post was a picture of a messy apartment.  But my reader knew right away what I meant.  Whether it's a single picture or even an empty page, somehow, it was all understood.)