False Freedom

Three days of freedom, indeed, was very nice.  It's been a long time since it's been so quiet and peaceful in the house.  Free to do what I want when I want.  Free to go out or stay in whenever I want.  Free to do things I probably shouldn't be doing.

So what did I do?

Friday.  Absolutely nothing.  I thought about going places.  I thought about calling up a few people.  In the end, all I wanted to do was go home and have some time alone.  In the middle of tax season, I really don't have much energy to be entertaining a group of people.  Watched DVDs for a while.  Played with my guitar for a while.  Chat with some friends for a while.  Nothing more.  Yet, it was perfectly fine.  (Yes, I'm boring and very easily satisfied.)

Saturday.  Ended up going to Playdium with V and playing ticket redemption games.  I can't remember the last time I went to Playdium, or the last time I played those games.  Probably at least like 7 or 8 years ago.  Guess it's sort of 'ridiculous' that we're playing these things that little kids play.  But hey, everyone is a kid inside.

Sunday.  Yet another work day.  Played with my guitar and piano for a while, and realized (yet again) how much I suck at both.  At this moment....sitting here, chatting, enjoying some good music.

Naturally, the consequence of having all this time alone means that my mind goes crazy again, thinking about this and that.

Work.  There are two senior people who seem to really like giving me work.  It's not a bad thing, I guess.  One of them seems to be really friendly with me this year, even though I never worked with her last year.  Not sure why this is bugging me.  I guess simply because it's a little weird.

Social.  I spontaneously invited a chat buddy to meet up the other night.  Not very like me.  No luck though.

And, of course, the usual.  I really had the urge to go and show up at her door on Friday night, knowing that I have 3 days to make it happen and there's nobody in town to stop me.  I don't know if I rejected that idea because I'm afraid of being rejected, afraid of facing her, or afraid of the possibilities.

Last night I pulled out my little buddy from his dungeon and gave him a hug.  He's awesome too, but I wish it were his twin that I could hug.  Or...better yet...

Here I am......going crazy again.....

*sigh*