Only two days left. But it seems I've lost my motivation. There's just way too much on my mind.
Nervous? Yes. But not quite so much as in Dec/Jan. Perhaps because it's impossible to judge what kind of score I will get. Perhaps because through this month, I know I'm doing relatively okay. But my reputation and the $1,000 fee is at stake, so the stress is still there.
Not sure if it's because of all the things I've read lately, or the person that has attracted my attention, or another realization of how far I still am from my destination, or something else. But something has stirred up all the things inside that I've so carefully tried to keep contained and controlled.
My mind is so full of all the memories again. Am I thinking of you because I'm stressed? Or am I stressed because I'm thinking of you?
I just don't know anymore.
No comments:
Post a Comment