Christmas Eve Out

For the first time in many years, I did not spend Christmas Eve at home with family.

I've always thought of Christmas as a time to be spent at home with family.  I guess because, traditionally, it's a time when everyone has big family reunions for a big Christmas dinner.  But, for many reasons, I chose not to stay home today.

Seeing as there was absolutely nothing planned at home, there was no particular reason/need for me to stay home.  And, for sure, there are a few days that are already planned to be spent with them.  So, I mind as well spend the time with friends since there were actual plans.

On a different plane, I am (1) trying to build a different network of friends, (2) preventing myself from thinking about other things, and (3) changing the way my life works.  But, at the same time, I'm really playing with fire, every single time.

I had more than one invitation to Christmas Eve hang outs today, but I chose the one that I chose.  In the end, it's always a little more enjoyable to hang with like-minded people.  No need to hear about people complaining about their bf's.  No need to strategically fend off questions about my personal life.  No need to put up my guard.

Perhaps the topics of the night were kinda strange, but still a good night with good company.  Even chatting about such random (and perhaps even pointless) things, you can still learn a lot about each person, and about yourself.

What did I learn today?

I learned that I'm very bad at caring for other people.

Now that's something to think about.