Unbearable Weight

Physically, something doesn't feel right tonight.  I don't know what, but there's a certain dullness or heaviness.       It feels so awkward that I don't even want my coffee/tea tonight.  Perhaps it's psychological, because it's been stressful lately.  But, sometimes, I can't help but wonder if there really is something wrong with my body.  After all, I am somewhat predisposed.

Mentally, I'm exhausted.  This particular job is getting to be really stressful.  (Or, this type of job/work really isn't for me, because it seems to stress me out every single time.  Perhaps it's because I really don't feel confident doing this type of work.)  It seems I'm expected to finish up with this soon, but there seems to be quite a lot left to do.  On top of that, I have three other files to finish this week and things are starting to come in for one of my upcoming jobs.  And now, in addition to all this, I have my performance review to write.  In light of the upcoming performance review, I need to make sure the raise I got was earned.  Can't afford to slack off or make mistakes now.

Emotionally, my mind is all over the place.  My emotional world has been thrown into turmoil again.  Every now and then, I tell myself I'm going to do this or that and I'm going to set my mind to it.  And then, out of nowhere, something will come along and completely overturn what I was setting out to do.  Clearly, over this past weekend, this has happened again.  Something has caused me to re-think everything all over again.  Whether that's for better or for worse, I just don't know.

I'm tired.

But there's nowhere to rest.