2012 Recap

This year has been really different from the last.  2011 was filled with numerous challenges and, with that, accomplishments.  2012, not so much.

Professionally, I guess I'm a bit closer to putting two (or three) letters behind my name.  Some time in the next 12 months, I guess it should all be done.  But the more I do this, the more stressful it seems to get, and the more I'm not sure if this is really where I should be.  Perhaps it's because a lot of people have high expectations of me.  The pressure is getting higher and higher.

A few months ago I started out on new plans to add an extra three letters to my name.  So far, it really hasn't been going according to plan.  Not quite sure how this is all going to work out, but it's all going to have to go through.  At least, that'll be one accomplishment to mark for 2013.

At home, I'm not sure where I stand.  Every now and then, I think that there are signs things are getting better.  But all of a sudden, something will wipe that all away and tell me otherwise.  Will there ever be progress?  I don't know.  At times I think that maybe it's time for me to break away from this all.  Perhaps it's the only way that I can change things.  I can now afford to, but the financial aspect is the least of my worries.  There are many more other things at stake.

After being in HK for a few weeks, I realize, once again, that my responsibilities are extending further and further.  There are a lot of people that need my attention, that will eventually depend on me to some extent.  I don't know how it's all going to play out, but I'm feeling it more and more.

Personally, perhaps I've never stopped being lost.  I think I know where I want to be, but getting there seems impossible.  A lot of things are changing and I keep losing the game.  A lot of things seem to be getting further and further away from me.  I've taken a road less traveled in hopes of getting to my destination and I've met some great people in my life because of that.  But this path seems to be taking me around in circles again and again and I seem to be losing people along the way.

Life is always complicated.  There are some things that are probably better off left untouched, because once you disturb it, things will change in a irreversible way.  And perhaps there are some things that need to be disrupted, or time will stand still.  It's just I never know which is the right thing to do.

It's been a blurry year.  There are some significant things that I remember clearly.  Some are good.  Some, not so much.  But for sure, it's been tiring, especially the last little while.  A lot of things have taken a turn and I just don't know what to do.

I haven't done anything these holidays.  Haven't gone anywhere.  Haven't met up with any of my various groups of friends.  I'm tired.  Just thinking about all the things in my life makes me want to retract.  Some days, I wish I could just sleep the day away and not think about anything.

That's....life.