Furniture

For the Nth time, my folks are trying to get in the process of renovating the kitchen.  It's been so-called in the works for years, and maybe this time it'll actually happen.  For what it's worth, I gave up all my time these past to days to this.  Tiring, and really not of much use to me.  In fact, I could have got a lot of reading done if not for this.

Anyhow.  It's all part of the deal.  This is one of my roles and I need to play it, and play it well.  It's all I have to counter anything that goes against me.

I hate furniture shopping.  It brings up things of the past and puts my future into question.

In a way, furniture is a very private thing.  It's open for the public to see, but is a direct reflection of the homeowner's taste and style.  Whether or not your home is inviting and comfortable all depends on how you put it together.

I don't remember exactly when it was that she asked for my opinion about her home.  She wanted to re-paint the walls.  So she showed me the paint colours she had picked out.  She told me how she wanted to switch around the furniture, and all the reasons for how she planned it out.  She wanted to buy a new sofa; one that would be long enough to lie down on.  The way she talked about it with me was almost like I lived there.

(Even though I didn't live there, I had my own seat on the sofa.  She said she always sat on the one side, because the other seat was reserved for me.  I could do whatever I wanted there; sprawl on the ground, lie on the sofa/coach, and even sleep in her bed.)

Unfortunately, the only part I ever got to see was the moving around of the existing furniture.

Whenever we look at home decor, my folks are always telling me I should re-furnish my room.  I've always brushed it off saying that it would be a big project that I don't want to deal with right now.  That is true, but not my main reason for saying no.

The main reason: why spend all the money (whether mine or theirs) to do renovations when potentially I will be moving out?

Ultimately, when I look at furniture and home decor, I imagine what I would do if I had my own place.  At this point, that is probably what I want most, because moving out opens the doors to a lot of other things.

My place.  My space.  My life.

Of course, a lot easier said than done.

Financially, it probably is possible.  It may be difficult, but manageable.  Relative to other things, this really is not a big issue.

The approval is the extremely challenging part.  What kind of feasible reason do I have for moving out?  Absolutely nothing.  Realistically, the only feasible reason is if I found a really good job in a completely different city.  But moving to another city would sort of defeat my purposes, so not necessarily the way I want it.

There are HUGE implications to whatever reason I can think of.  Regardless of what reason I give, the conversation (but really, it would be an argument) is all going to come back to one and only one thing: there must be a girl somewhere out there.

I wish that were true.  Then, at least, all the stress would be worthwhile.

A place of my own.

Years ago I wrote that in connection with a picture I found.  There was no need for words, because my reader immediately knew exactly what I meant.

Here I am, years later, still trying......