In search of...?

Another random search on a night when I'm, once again, mentally and emotionally overloaded.  I'm not sure whether or not finding something is good or bad, because regardless of whether or not I find something, it wreaks havoc on me.  But I still continue doing it.  In the end, I want to know, because I still care.

#1 - a name in a pamphlet or program
#2 - some writing, with a name and brief description

The two are linked.  Both relate to the same thing.  Both send me the same message.

This explains some things I saw before.

This is the reason for the books.  Perhaps it's some relief for me, as it may be an indication that there wasn't some bad news.

This is the reason for the commitment.  I'm not so sure what a commitment like this means for me, or whether it's good or bad, but at least I know.

The poet has become a preacher.

If this was anyone else, I'd be in shock.  But not in this case, because I know this was always part of the quest.

After all, this was the reason for the connection.

What is it that you see that I don't?
Teach me.