T-18

I've been waiting a long long time for an opportunity.

I think it's finally come.

In so many ways, it could not be more perfect - the circumstances, the timing, everything is just the way I want/need it to be.

If I don't take advantage of this, the chance might never come again.

But I no longer know how to make use of it.

What can I do that I haven't already tried?

What can I do that may actually produce results?

What can I do to prove that I'm for real?

The clock is ticking...

In faith and trust...

The nature of the field I work in is that we know a lot about the personal lives of our clients.  We see their wealth.  We see their marriages and divorces.  We see their wills.  Along with that, we see how nasty it gets when people get a divorce and need to split their assets and we see how nasty it gets when someone dies and the family fights over the estate.

A recent conversation brought up the concept of prenuptial agreements and ways you can potentially protect yourself in the event that a relationship falls apart.  A friend of mine was very interested in all the laws and what not and seemed very keen on doing everything possible to protect herself.

There's nothing wrong with that.  You have every right to protect yourself and what you own.  Despite that, maybe I'm a bit naive, but there is something about that that just seems wrong to me.

Why would you think about what happens when you divorce before you even get married?  Are you anticipating a divorce?  If so, why are you getting married in the first place?

Do you not trust your partner enough to know that he/she would not go and try to take or steal your wealth and assets in the event that something does go wrong?  If so, is this really the right person for you?

Do you not have faith that the relationship between you and him/her is strong enough and on a higher level than all these material things would be sort of irrelevant?  Does he/she not have the integrity to still be friends even if it doesn't work out?

Perhaps the image in my mind is overly simplified and idealistic...

Halfway

One thing leads to another.  After re-watching Saving Face, I went on and found another movie to watch - Elena Undone.  This one got me more than I expected.  After all, how much can I relate to a woman married to a pastor with a teenage son?  Not much.  Or so I thought.

There's a lot in common when you find yourself falling for someone you could never even imagine.  All of a sudden, this person somehow shows up in your life and turns everything you ever knew upside down and throws you into a world that you barely even knew existed.  It's all so new, so scary, so confusing.  Yet, you let yourself into it because it feels so right.

There's a lot in common when you find yourself in an "illicit affair".  In the movie, perhaps it was, because Elena was married.  But it makes me feel horribly guilty to think that what I had was at some point labeled as an illicit affair.  Was I doing something illegal?  Was I cheating on someone?  No, and no.  But I do know why it was labeled as such, and it's entirely my fault.

There's a lot in common when you find yourself destroying the rest of your family while you try to find yourself.  Elena gave up her husband, but she didn't love him anyway.  Elena was lucky; her son understood.  I never had this luxury.  You can give up a lover that you no longer love, but you cannot give up family that brought you into this world.  What can I do?

Yet, none of these got me as much as the dialogue between Elena and Peyton in the park.  Peyton wants to pull back.  Elena wants to forge ahead, albeit carefully.  Elena says she doesn't want to go halfway.  Peyton's response......

"You ARE going halfway."