Uphill

This is an uphill battle.

The load feels heavier every day.
The slope gets steeper every day.

Hang in there.
Keep forging ahead.

Somewhere out there...

You're not alone...

Because I believe I never am.

Be strong.
Have faith.

[............]

Value

Angry email from client complaining about a bill for his tax return saying we charged him more than double what H&R Block charges him.

FYI, buddy....

If you had taken your stuff to H&R Block, they would have charged you $100 and you would have gotten a tax refund of $5.

You've taken your stuff to us.  We charged you $300.  But because of one question I asked you, you've gotten a tax refund of $1,100.

What the f**k are you complaining about?

It's the last few days of the month.  I've worked so many hours these past few weeks and this week that I have zero chance of passing next weekend's exam.  May is not even done yet and my list of June files is already twelve items long.  The last thing I need is someone making unreasonable complaints about my work.  And, quite frankly, nobody complains about my work.

Road Block

Noticed an engagement show up on my FB a few days ago.  I am not familiar with these people, but I know where I met (or "met") them.

If I'm not mistaken, I know how they met each other...

They met at the very same place and in the very same way that we met.

Here they are...happily proceeding to the next stage of their lives.

Here I am...not even sure if I'm making a long long journey to something that awaits me, or if I'm aimlessly searching for a destination that no longer exists.

Why?

One...

In something I was watching on TV, A showed B a vacation picture.  The vacation picture had a cup of coffee and a beautiful beach view.  A asked why there was only one cup of coffee.  B said there was one cup of coffee because there was only one person.

This is my equivalent...

One pair of shoes.
One set of books.
One cup of green tea latte.

All...at a place where there once was two.

Will you sit next to me again?
Will you read with me again?
Can I buy you a coffee again?

Nothing comes close.

H

Walking through the hallways, seeing all the people and places...

All I can think of is watching you getting ready to go out on your night shifts.  I always worried for your safety on those long, cold nights...

All I can think of is listening to you talk about dreams and callings.  I always admired that side of you...

All I can think of is a secret place and some secret moments.  I always wanted you to lead me further...

This is where you want to be, where you belong...

Are you happy here, my friend?

How to love...

My email subscriptions lead me to this today...

How to Love a Woman Who Knows Exactly How to be Loved.

It reminds me of you.

You're confident.

You know what you want.

You won't settle for less than you deserve.

You love...without reservations.

I know you through your questions...posed and answered.

I know you through your words...spoken and unspoken.

I know you through your writing...written and between the lines.

You knew exactly how you wanted to be loved.

But I did not know how to love you.

If only you knew how it feels to be writing this.

If only you knew what it's like to be missing you.

If only you knew how much I still love you.

Dial

A friend called my house tonight after I hadn't picked up my cell.  She laughed at the fact that she still remembered my home phone number even though she hadn't called it in a long long long time.

Likewise, I told her I still remember hers, even though it's been ages since I've ever dialed it, and she doesn't even live there anymore.

Ironically, neither of us can remember each other's cell number even though we dial it regularly.

There's only one other person's phone number(s) that I can remember.

And there's one other number that I really wish I could remember but can't for the life of me.

How did (I let) that happen?

Next up...

The first weekend in May has come and gone.

Taxes are not quite done.
Mind is overworked.
Body is exhausted.

But time is ticking.

Time to refocus and take on the next challenge.

Four weeks.
Six books.

Get through this and maybe I can truly start thinking about real life.